A Portrait in Time

How do you break a pattern that is so ingrained that the threads of connection still hold their torque even when unravelled. How too, do you overcome the formula of attraction to those patterns, and not spoon up to the next familiar warm spot. I am ready to unravel. I am so ready to move from this space to unspiral from the infliction of adaption over the last 12 years. To accept anything less would be to deny the reality that has.... driven the point home, and then made its point again and again. Knot after knot. Knot after knot he has pulled the looseness of my string and taught me what is his hold on my reigns. Conditioning by the alpha one. Conditioning to my desperate need to keep him. To be needed. To provide a platform that makes up for all my insufficiencies that he is oh so happy to point out. There is no place where we meet where the land is flat. There is always a canyon between the way we understand. From my point of view and reality and truth of his co