Every step of the day.

I should feel something quite considerable. But I am cautious & all felt out. At first all I was wanting to achieve was my divorce. I didn't imagine the year journey of dissolving our relationship would fracture off & splinter so much of what we thought was certain. The two of us should have escaped all this drama, all these casualties all this loss. This town & its people have been excused the staggering drama . Hero's in love, now all that remains of the epic alliance dismantled & linger like scaffolds of previous grand existences.

Its as if a storm has moved through my existence & left a hollow shell. I walk around the empty room inside. Taking in the contents. He has left for the last time. The papers have been signed. Whats left is the karmic clause & consequences. Thus we are spun out . Both of us unable in some sense. Both of us un cabled to our stream to the dream that we dreamed. Both un tethered from the structure of what we had cultured together. All ripped and torn away.

Washed up on separate shores on the day this day of the new year. I am grateful to get on my feet & see my shelter still standing. I have a place I can walk to. I can walk. He cannot, His broken hip unfixed for careless reasons leaves him limp and humbled every step of the day.

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The Hans Holbein Connection

On our second year in the Wild West I took a trip without the painter, back to the Sequoia's where we used to live. It was an epic journey, extended by fleeing Los Angeles within 10 hours of getting there. Thus extending my time in the mountains by 4 days. It was prime time for my architipal journey. The solitary mind was flowing script and having visions that were then fulfilled. The swiftest of which was manifesting a bear within an hour of having the day dream while sleeping in a meadow on some unknown hill that beaconed me off the road. Yep it was one of those adventures. A time of independence and fulfillment that was an alixier that I was yearning for. During this trip, among other things I purchased on old postcard from the Louvre of Hans Holbein's portrait of d'Anne de Cleves. A rather osteir portrait of a woman, hands clenched, rings on most fingers, and an indifferent look on her face. I remember flicking through the cards, regarding it, and then ...

Fair weather friends

I am surrounded by fair weather friends. The slightest storm in a teacup and they flee like fleas on a wetback. Fleaing from adversity as if there were'nt an empathetic bone in their flexible body. 12 years of cocktail raising stands for nothing.

To meet or not to meat

It was an innocent mistake. Truely. Although yes at some stage I did glance at the invitation, but details, what are details in an impressionistic world. Seen today, forgotten tomorrow. Such details will never, EVER, be overlooked again. Because today one of those landmark moments in mistakes of the meat kind. The painter and I are really not one for parties. We would rather linger with a few friends and talk all night. We do go to out to our dear friends, but in a small town the intimacy and interaction can almost overwhelm. So either you are out all the time or you are selective and choose those rare opportunities to mingle and merge. Tonights motivation were more for the sake of introducing our friends to their neighbours. But Oh what a faux pas, and a disservice to our friends. So what have we learnt from this event. Never EVER take meat to a raw food house..... and may be more so, NEVER EVER take PORK to a Jewish Home. To say we were marched out ...

A Portrait in Time

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