From my astrologers point of view. Mars in my 12th house ( along with Sun, Jupiter, Mars, Mercury ) means all my expression and anger is internalized - hence my love of writing& passionate angry men... and thus The Painter was the expression of much of my internalized forces. .... if you get that kinda thing. I really do. Especially after 12 years of a little Biosphere of my own - of two cosmic forces.. obviously not quite coming together. OR taking 12 years and considering the option... or in his mind.. at this time .. which may not be his mind.. 12 years pretending.
Taking our combined charts, it was all forecast. Trouble brewing, powerful planets challenging the status quo. Things that could have stayed subtle and hidden become the catalists for deconstruction. Naturally I grasping on this as reasonable explaination for a change I didnt see comming.
Powerless to it all, I watch my beautiful sandcastle wash away. Twelve years of heart matched alliance ( yes I'am still in the denial phase) destroyed in a flash flood of pivotal seeds dropped into the palm of my husband heart by his mother. Not the first seeds of pain shared, it has been the glue that has held them together over the last 35 years since their family was deconstructed.
You may wonder if the charts suggest this too. Sure enough Neptune Moon in the eleventh house of Scorpio. Escape via death. With Pluto riding on the Painters tail right now, and Saturn on mine, lessons are being learnt whilst death and rebirth wipes the slate clean.
But I feel that is not the only curse. For our Currendero ( Shaman from the Mountains in southern Mexico) traveled here from Mexico with his wife, and yesterday they lay their hands on me and took the arrows from my back.
The timing of their arrival is perfect, he spoke of a dream he had, and that he knew that the Painter was never the same after he return from the Navajo Reservation.
The Painter was the token White Man invited along by the Goat Clan to there Family gathering. Invited by his best friend, the only other white man to walk in the sacred mountains with the 300 clan members. The Painter is not one to surrender his routeen and desires for anyone. He disregared the sharing of meals, where no one eats till everyone is there. He came and went without respect to elders. Until he was summoned to sit with the weavers so that they could ponder him. When he returned there were clouds around him and his friend. The Navajo wife was done with her husband, and we sat and considered the weight of that. 'How sad, a man to loose his wife and kids, what an empty life' the Painter pondered. Yet some how the medicine man soothed their storm, and the clouds moved on to gather over the Painter.
The Currendero had a dream, he saw the painter in his studio, but his studio was changed, and the Painter was sat in a hot tub surrounded by exotic women. Behind him there was a black cloud. The Currendero said he knew it that moment that dream that the Painter had a Navajo curse. His lesson is with the respect for the woman, and he does not like women. He is confused in his respect for them. You have been his mother, now you must let him leave and do not ever call his spirit back ever. He is on a dark journey.
I feel the curse is different. The curse is a family curse, built of many years of lies, lamenting and lack of boundries between a mother and her son. The son's image of his father shattered, his immature mind cannot overcome the fracture of adjustment, despite the reassurance by the mother that the son is absolved of any guilt and released from the family curse.
Hardly reassuring when your own journey feels like the darkest path, but I trust the wisdom of the Wise Man and walk the other way, my path finally on a different pole from the journey together with the painter.
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